paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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