I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
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I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
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Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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