I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize