I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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