Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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