I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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