just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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