what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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