Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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