not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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