Kareoke will never be a sober sport
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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