He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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