I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize