Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize