That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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