chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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