Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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