you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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