Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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