Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
her facebook's as public as her vagina
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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