i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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