I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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