I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
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My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
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All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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