Will you blow on my dice?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
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Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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