ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
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Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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