Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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