If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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