if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize