she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize