maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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