I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize