remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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