If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize