how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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