Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
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This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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