I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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