Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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