is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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