Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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