So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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