Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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