Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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