She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize