It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize