I'm going to jail i love you
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize