Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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