does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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