Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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