Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize