Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I am naked and annoyed.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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